A Reason To Smile
by BabyJane14
Summary: Because that night she'd let herself go, let herself go to the one type of person she'd sworn never to fall for. Now she'd fallen to far to turn back and it hurt. She wanted the things that she couldn't have.
1. This Broken Heart

_Author's note: Hey, so everyone, I've found a new obsession! Don't worry it takes nothing away from any of my DS stories because they're all being written as well still. And for the time being, the next twenty four hours the next chapter of RS is on hold! It's all finished though. My beta, and help (Calie) is on a mini vaca so she's not around to go over it. Sorry, bear with me you'll all get it eventually. I promise. In the mean time I have two new things for you. This and the next thing depending on how I spend my time tonight you might just get tonight. Enjoy this! Because I think I love it pretty much so. And before I forget, the song is This Broken Heart by: Something Corporate. _

you woke up, in pieces  
from making these changes  
and holding the ransom, won't write you an anthem  
on the outside, I'm trying, cause inside, I'm dying

It was late afternoon and the costumers had all cleared out for the day, normally she would have liked the piece and quiet without the swirl of noise and energy. It wasn't very often anymore that she worked in the café now that the gallery's small shop was open. But for the afternoon she'd taken a shift, a shift to try and get away from all the confusion that misted around in her head. For the first time Vanessa couldn't find a smile in the piece and quiet. Swinging her legs back and forth she listened to the bang and clicks of her boots hitting the aluminum on the counter. None of it would still take her mind off of the thoughts she tried so hard to push from her mind. She reached to pull the elastic out of her hair thinking that if she kept her hands busy maybe they wouldn't crave the feel of his skin and muscle under them. His soft, smooth, tanned feel and look that she'd fallen for once she'd let her guard down. As she pulled at the elastic till it came out the bouncy curls dropped to her shoulders, yet it didn't help either. She could feel him tugging at the spirals away from her face behind her ear before placing a soft and tender kiss to her lips. Putting her finger on her lips she traced the feeling that was prickling them and closed her eyes creating one of many mistakes. As she closed her eyes the deep sapphire blues were look intently back at her. They made her melt even at so much as the thought.

Vanessa wasn't supposed to be that girl, she wasn't ever that girl that melted at the thought of a guy. However, the moment that Nathaniel Archibald proved himself to be more then just some spoiled rich asshole he'd captivated her and turned her into something she hadn't ever been. There was a certain façade between the way he acted to the outside world and the way he acted with her. All summer long she'd wanted it, she'd wanted him to be there and make the butterflies arise in her chest and stomach. She needed him to look at her the way he always did. With his sweet longing smile, his gentle touches. The way he touched her hand and made everything met into the scenery until nothing mattered but the two of them. She couldn't figure out why but for some reason he was all she needed, the only thing that could make her heart speed up and want to explode out of her chest.

As she rubbed her hand she could almost feel his lips on it still, the way they'd pressed into her skin after her hand had slid from his cheek. She knew from the second the words _'tell me everything'_ had come out of her mouth that she was just going to burry herself deeper under his spell. When the sentence '_No, I wanna be with you'_ came out of his mouth she lost nearly every bit of control she had in her not to dance around the room. Even with the thing that had come out of his mouth previous to, nothing changed the fact that the heart in her chest was still pulsing for him. His lips warm lips on her palm as he kissed it cemented what she felt for the boy with the crystal sapphire eyes.

Finally Vanessa gave up as she lifted her hands and shifted her head down to lean on them, she let the memory of the night captivate her. The night she'd let herself go and surrendered both her body and her mind to his charm. She'd never taken a risk quite as she had that night, a risk that she couldn't no would she ever re do.

this broken heart was stronger then,  
now I cant stand to part with this  
this broken heart

_"God, this does feel like that door stop moment."_

_"And what moment would that be?"_

_"Yea, That's the moment"_

_The key phrases that had sealed their fate for the night, her hands were on his neck, one of his rested at the nape of her neck and the other wrapped tightly around her waist as the door to the café shut behind them. She hadn't meant to have a good time with him, she hadn't meant to laugh, she hadn't meant to enjoy the company of a stuck up rich boy. He'd genuinely put a smile on her face and made her laugh, damn it, she'd let her guard down enough to be falling for Nate Archibald. _

_"I thought we were saying goodnight"_

_Had he not gone back after her mouth again she might have responded to him and kicked him out of the café. As their tongues dueled his hand slipped from the back of her neck to the side of his face again as his thumb brushed slow circles on her cheek bone. He was so gentle and careful she could feel herself giving into him. Slipping to the point of no return. _

_When he pulled away this time she'd tightened her grip on the back of his neck, she didn't want him to stop, and she couldn't let him stop._

_"V, I have to go. If this goes any further I'm not going to be able to…"_

_Hazel eyes were intently gazing into dark blue, her whole body felt like it was on fire as she just shook her head at him._

_"No, I don't want to stop."_

_She rasped out breathless and wordy as their eyes stayed locked on one another, no words were said, no kisses were granted. Vanessa wasn't even sure if she was feeling anymore. Not one bit of the things that were going was she sure of, the only thing she was sure of was that for the first time she, Vanessa Marigold Abrams wanted to live in the moment. _

_"Are you sure"_

_The prince and good boy exterior was one that for once she wanted to melt into the interior she could tell he had. It already seemed to be proven, the fact that he wanted her just as badly as se wanted him. Vanessa nodded her head again and this time Nate finally stopped the gentle circles on her cheek and slid down her side as he backed her up against the counter. _

_Their kisses got more heated as he lifted her up onto the counter top. His jacket had long ago slipped to the floor and she couldn't even remember it. Next to go was the blazer he'd had on over the button up. Her hands were shaking with nerves, she'd never done this exactly. Sue she'd been on her knees a few times but Nate was the first guy that actually made her want it. As she started on his buttons, her lips never leaving his her shoes fell to the floor with an obnoxious clunk. _

_When his lips left hers right after she didn't even have a moment to look at him confused as he soon began to kiss her neck and down her collar bone she knew there wasn't any changing her mind. He had her entranced. His hands began to pull up the yellow pattered dress as her legs wrapped around his waist. As the yellow fabric was pulled carefully over her head his lips found hers again as he picked her up off of the counter. Vanessa pulled away from the kiss and she saw his sapphire blue eyes suddenly pool in perplexity._

_"This, this is the reason my parents won't adopt a seventeen year old boy, because, then I couldn't do this. That's not something I'm willing to accept."_

_She mumbled into his mouth and caused him to laugh for a moment as he carried her to the floor behind the counters. It may not have been surrounded by candles, and it may have been a little bit dirty but being with him and knowing that he could put all of his rich over rides aside to show her things she'd never experienced even if it was on a dirty old floor of a café she found in her own Vanessa way romantic. She'd enjoyed his company so much, so much more then she'd expected._

_"I'm sorry, I should have taken you somewhere nicer then th…"_

_Cut off by her putting her finger to his lips she shook her head signifying him not to talk. Apologies and wasted wants would break the moment she was so transfixed in. pulling him back on top of her his right hand traveled up her side, over the black lace and back to the side of her neck. That's when he paused for a second as sapphire stayed captivated by hazel. They both knew right then that it was a moment that would never dim._

you took me for granted  
now I'm changed, you haven't  
it wont be so easy to sell me this feeling  
this broken heart, was stronger than, the words I wish you never meant  
this broken heart

The chiming bells above the door broke Vanessa from her train of thought, she still had goosebumps running up and down her arms however. There wasn't a moment during the day that she didn't crave his touch or kiss. With Catharine holding so much over his head and there being so much at risk that he could lose if that horrid women opened her mouth Nate had to much to lose. To much that Vanessa would never forgive herself for if he did lose. It was quite clear that Nathaniel Archibald had no idea how to be a normal teenage boy, a few of the things Vanessa was quite thankful for.

She probably should have been paying attention to the costumer that had walked in the door but the chiming of the bell above the door had gotten her out of her memory and not out of the captive state she was in thinking about Nate. She did that a lot lately, getting completely in the distant memories she had of him. It just made her despise and hate Catharine more then she already did.

can't make this right, you see on my face,  
that I'm not gonna be alright, not tonight,  
you can read all my letters, but that won't mean things are fine,  
not this time, cause you gave away all the secrets of you and I

It was the soft lips on her neck that made her hazel eyes open immediately. She knew them without even turning, the way his soft lips found all of the right spots on her neck. She tilted her head to the side involuntary as his arms wrapped around her from behind. She knew she should have stopped it right away but she couldn't. As he pulled her back closer into his chest, arms tightly holding around her, head bowed and leaning forehead down on her shoulder she just wanted to stay like that for as long as she could. Even if it would just all be a distant memory also.

"Nate, what are you doing here?"

Enjoying him holding her so tightly and the feel of his warm breath on the side of her neck she didn't want to move. She didn't have the energy to be defensive or ask many questions. The only thing she wanted was him. As her mind flicked back to the breakup and back to Catherine it took all of her strength to push him away, to hop off of the counter and stand on her own away from him. She couldn't be so close to him with wanting to repeat the actions that had once taken place on the floor so many months prier to the date.

"Vanessa please don't do this."

His voice was pleading, begging even and it made her just want to melt into him. She couldn't do it, she couldn't risk him losing everything. Vanessa shook her head and turned away from him moving to the other end of the counters in order not to be so close to him.

"We can't do this Nate, she's the one that wants you. It's not me, go back to Catherine."

She had to turn her back to him again, she couldn't look at him because then he'd see right through her. He'd see all of her lies of how she was the one that wanted him; she was the one that needed him to be there. He made her feel more alive then she'd ever felt before.

"I told you V, I don't want her."

He was in back of her again, even after she'd pulled away from him. His hands were sliding up her arms and she felt her body quiver under his touch as he touched her so gently and caringly. She couldn't resist it as she leaned back against his chest and closed her eyes as he wrapped one arm around her waist and used the other to stroke her face.

"I told you Nate, we can't do this. I can't be a part of…"

Words came up short as he put his finger on her lips silencing her from talking anymore to run it. It wasn't that he didn't love hearing her talk it was that he hated her turning him down. He didn't want her to turn him down anymore, he just wanted to be with her. Moving his head to her ear he placed a soft kiss to the skin behind her earlobe.

"Come away with me"

Out of no where the words came out of his mouth and it took everything for her not to turn and laugh in his face. this time she moved away from him, out of his grasp and turned to look at him fact to face.

"Nate please, please don't do this to me."

She whispered at him as he took a persistent step closer this time putting both of his arms around her, his hands on her hips as he pulled her closer to him. Leaning his head in puzzle piece match to hers he pressed their lips together in a soft yet meaningful kiss. One that was light yet passionate and full of fire even as it was gentle. Just the simple kiss spoke of all the words they weren't ready to say to one another or trust just yet.

When the kiss ended she realized just how tight she'd been holding onto his shirt and she let go and moved away from him in a mad dash. She couldn't be that close to him, she couldn't let his silly words or forgetful promises go to her head anymore.

"I'm closing up and going home. Get out."

She said harshly getting her Vanessa tone back to her as she shut off the lights and grabbed her coat walking quick strides to the door and holding it open. She watched as in a dejected mirror he followed her to the door, every step he took seeming as broken as she was.

"I'm going home."

Repeating the words again his bright eyes lit up in spark and looked at her but by the time they had she'd already locked the door and headed down the Brooklyn street.

this broken heart, was stronger then  
now I cant stand to part with this  
this broken heart, was stronger than,  
the words I wish you never meant  
this broken heart


	2. Me and the Moon

Author's note: ok so I'm having more fun writing this then I am anything else at the moment. Sorry for the slowness on everything else, good news! The next chapter of this is already half written. And I LOVED watching all the hits I got on this in five minuets. It meant a lot to me, thank you, even if the reviews weren't all that high it didn't matter. thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this. the song is Me and the Moon by: Something Corporate

_**It's a good year for a murder  
she's praying to jesus, she's pulling the trigger  
there's no tears, cause he's not here  
she washes her hands, and she fixes the dinner  
but soon they'll be coming to rush her away  
no one's so sure if her crime had a reason**_

He loved the cluttered and homey feel of Ruby and Vanessa's small Brooklyn apartment. The way every space on every wall was taken up by a poster or broken unusable film strips Vanessa had discarded. How she'd taken the graffitied wall opposite of her bed and turned it into her own masterpiece with photos of her and Dan at young ages staring back at her. Memories of her childhood hung effortlessly around the room, the reminder that the brutally straightforward girl had once been nearly sweet and completely innocent. She was so complex yet so simple at the same time, so much less high maintenance then Blair, yet so individual, sure of herself, and exactly what he needed. He felt like he could trust her with anything and she'd be right there to grasp a hold of his hand and whisper that it would all turn out in the end, that or slap him upside the head and tell him to stop being a wimp.

Now as he lay with her all hardships and troubles seemed to melt into the past. He could feel her easy breath with the rise and fall of her chest as she practically lay on top of him. His fingers twisted and pulled at her dark chocolate curls, every once and a while slipping down to touch the lacy fabric of her red bra as she stayed sound asleep. He loved watching her sleep just as much as he loved listening to her voice when she was awake. She was such a breath of fresh air from all of the UES drama. Nate had had enough with ritzy females for quite a while, being debited to Catherine still was more then he could handle. How the gorgeous brunette resting on him stayed so patient yet so feisty and biting at the same time about it all he didn't understand. She was patient and easily frustrated all at once.

Nate hadn't expected Vanessa to mean so much to him, in fact the impression that he'd gotten of her that day in the café had pretty much told him that the pair weren't ever going to get long. That night at Ruby's concert he'd seen a different side of her, a side that intrigued him to no end. He hadn't even meant to sleep with her that night; everything had just felt so right. Even on the hard wooden floor behind the counters of the café everything seemed so right, like it was something that had been meant from the beginning.

Further down her back his hand slid till he was resting at the very bottom of her back, he felt her shift, her leg that was already cast over him moved up just slightly, her hand that was resting on his chest dug her nails into his hard abs a little bit harder. He loved the way she curled herself around his body, how she needed to be touching him every moment. It was like she was afraid if she was to far away from him he'd leave and disappear on her. There wasn't any other way he would have wanted to sleep, with her in his arms, feeling her breath, knowing that she was right there with him… that was all Nate needed. The whole time his right arm had stationed it's self wrapped around her torso, keeping her from moving to far away from him.

_**reasons like seasons  
they constantly change  
and the seasons of last year  
like reasons have floated away  
away with this spilt milk  
away with this dirty dish water, away  
seventeen years, and all that he gave was a daughter**_

As his own eyes began to shut and he started to venture into the realm of sleep as Vanessa woke up. She loved using his warm muscular chest as a pillow at night, the way he protectively wrapped his arm around her waist and held her through the night never faltering or letting go. Turning her head slightly she pressed a kiss to the center of his chest only to feel his hand slip up from her lower back just a little as it started to rub back and forth across her mid back. She been with him enough times to know that was Nate's way of falling asleep, rubbing skin was one of his small routines as he drifted off to dream land. His repetitive moments were enough to coax her head back down on his chest and lull her back into her own peaceful sleep.

_**"it's me and the moon," she says  
i got no trouble with that  
but i am a butterfly, you wouldn't let me die  
"it's me and the moon," she says**_

The morning light shown in brightly through the open blinded windows, they'd forgotten to shut them after gazing into the smoggy night air at the barely existent stars. She loved laying in his arms after they'd done it, the way their sweaty skin stuck to one another. Looking up at the stars put the perfect romantic touch on it. That's how they'd fallen asleep early in the night, gazing out at the sky and not saying a word to each other. Now, it was morning time. Time to face a new day and try to stand all the trials that were put in front of them, trials and tribulations that at times seemed like the universe was against the pair being together.

Her legs were twined with his, looped and tangled once as they both lay on their sides. Face to face, pressed up against one another as close as they could get, his left arm was under her, holding on around her chest, his right, resting tightly over her hip. His chin rested on top of her head as her head rested on his chest. One of her hands had been bent against his chest and the other wrapped around his neck over her head tightly. It was a picturesque moment, how they could both be completely comfortable in their tangled mess.

_**and it's over, but it just started  
the blood stained the carpet  
her heart like a crystal  
she's lucid and departed  
a life left behind, she can find in her mind gone away**_

Nate was the first of them to wake up, for the first time in months he woke up with a smile on his face and she was the one that had put it there. The way the light hit her face showing all of the innocence and trust that was showcased in her features. Moving his hand from her hip he brushed his thumb across her cheek bone, soon as he did so her eyes fluttered open sleepily and their eyes met. An affectionate smile shown on her still not quite awake face as he gently rolled her over and pinned her underneath himself, he held her hands above her head and pressed his body on top of hers. Without saying anything he leaned down capturing her lips with his and letting his tongue beg for access which he was right away granted regardless of morning breath. Her hands made there way to play with his hair as she pulled back from their good morning kiss.

"Morning"

She whispered in a hazy voice as she looked into his eyes as his hand once again caressed her cheek in circles. She loved the way she felt under his gaze even first thing in the morning. How he looked at her and saw the real her not needing makeup or expensive clothes, how he liked her because she wasn't like the rest of the selfish bitches.

"Good morning beautiful"

Murmuring against her lips his classic Nathaniel Archibald smile lit his face making his dimples pop out and her face mirrored it.

"Sleep well?"

Like he even had to ask as he started planting sweet innocent kisses all over her collar bone and headed down her chest. She suppressed a small laugh at the feeling of it all, of how his kisses felt no matter where they were. Putting his hands on the sides of his face she pulled him back up to her till their eyes met. Then with that she leaned in and pressed their lips together once again. It didn't matter that it was six on a Sunday morning, they didn't want to move.

"Where's your phone, haven't you been out of sight for to long? The wicked witch is going to send her wild monkey's after you."

Her reference to The Wizard of Oz made a slight laugh came out of his mouth as he leaned back into her kiss. They both knew it was true he just didn't want to have to face it just yet. All Nate wanted to do was be in the moment with Nate and nothing else.

_**away with these nightmares  
away with suburbia  
shake down away  
you marry a role and  
you give up your soul til you break down**_

"You know, my offer still stands. Let's go away for the week. Just let go and escape from everything and everyone. We deserve it V, just you and I alone. We'll go to Rhode Island, you can tour RISD. Just be you and I with no one interrupting us or bothering us."

Sapphire blue eyes told of his honesty, how badly he wanted and needed her to say yes. He needed to get away from Catherine and all of the hell she was raising.

"Please V, we both need this. I need you."

His hands were gripping her hips as he pleaded with her, his eyes were begging and his lips were in the perfect pout. Even if she looked away she could still see his face, the image was burned into her mind. No matter how hard she tried to get away from it.

"Everything on your terms, I swear we can do the whole thing by your rules."

Vanessa let out a playfully frustrated sigh, just to antagonize him and make him think that he was annoying her. That's when she turned her head back to him and looked him in the eyes.

"No Catherine, no interruptions, no bailing on me, no Blair trying to sabotage everything, just you and I. plain and simple."

Looking at him intrigued she watched at his pleading face picked up like a plant that had just been given water in the desert.

"Let's do it then, just you and I."

Shock and excitement was written all across his face as he heard her say yes. For one week, 168 hours, 10080 minuets he would be hers and she would be his only. That was the only thing that mattered. Not even if they returned home to chaos, everything would be worth it just to be able to be alone and spend time just the two of them.

_**"it's me and the moon," she says  
"i got no trouble with that, but i am a butterfly, you wouldn't let me die"  
"it's me and the moon," she says  
but what do you say we go for a ride?  
what do you say we get high?  
but i'm so tired of days that feel like the night  
**_


	3. Down

Song is: Down by: Something Corporate

_**Let's get drunk  
You can drive us to the harbor  
Wish upon a star but  
Do you know what stars are?  
Balls of fire, burning up the black space  
Falling from the landscape  
Exploding in the face of God**_

Nate stole a glance at Vanessa who was sound asleep in the passenger seat, her head on her shoulder, knees bent up on the dash. He hadn't expected her to comply and go along with his suggestion. When she'd actually agreed it had taken him by surprise but none the less made him smile. Even now as he took his eyes off of her and looked back at the long and winding Scituate, Rhode Island road he knew taking a long week in October off of school was the best thing he could have done for himself. Coming to a stop at a red light he once again looked over at her, looking at her had turned into an every moment he could steal thing. He was pretty sure he was just making sure it all wasn't just a dream of his.

"You know, I can feel your eyes on me every time you look at me."

Her groggy sleep filled voice made him smile and a light chuckle come out of his mouth. Even miles away from home she still had her wit and sarcasm. She hadn't bothered to shift or move in her seat, only open her eyes and look at him.

"I'm still offended that you didn't think that I could drive. I don't know what you take me for Abrams, just a pretty boy with a great smile?"

He effortlessly made her smile as she yawned and shifted her gaze to the long and winding road in front of them. When she'd agreed to go along with his crazy plan she'd set her conditions. No drivers or private jets, she wanted to take the bus or the train, to show him how to be a normal average person. That's when he'd shaken his head at her and told her he'd rather drive and watch the wind blowing through her messy curls. Vanessa hadn't expected him to know how to drive, she was completely taken back by his want.

Sitting in the old jeep he'd rented she couldn't have been more comfortable. The cool October air blowing her hair, they were the crazy ones that drove with the top still down. Vanessa couldn't have cared less about the rest of the world she had all she wanted right there with her.

"You are a pretty boy, but, do you hear e complaining? The fact that you're good in bed just seals it for me."

As the words left her mouth she saw the scowl on his face and her own turned into a light smirk. They both knew she wasn't going to let him live down his prostitution to Catherine anytime soon. Catherine, just the thought of her made Vanessa wince and tense up in both anger and resentment. She hated the women more then anyone she'd come across in her lifetime.

"I feel like we've been driving forever, where are we?"

The statement was as far from a complaint as she could get, it was just general curiosity of where their seven hour drive had lead them. She'd spent the first two hours of the drive with her head leaning against the window as she stared off into the fading New York landscapes. The hours to come had been spent with her head on his shoulder as she flicked through different radio stations or slept more.

"Scituate, the less city like part of Rhode Island."

Vanessa nodded her head as Nate took one hand off of the steering wheel and reached out for hers which she gave right away. Lifting her hand up to his mouth he placed a very gentle and tender kiss on her knuckles. It was when she suddenly sat up alert and tore her head away from his grasp to grip the window of the chipped red jeep. She was instantly alert and content as she looked out the window at the fields and fields of trees.

"Nate! Is that an apple orchard?"

Her enthusiastic question was met by his confused face as she turned to look at him. Her hand was suddenly back to him, gripping onto his shirt.

"I don't know, what's so special about an apple orchard?"

The comment made her jaw drop as she shook her head at him and turned down the music. This was a different side of Vanessa then she'd ever shown to the outside world. She had a happy spark to her, a spark that told him that this was exactly where she wanted to be.

"Nathaniel Archibald! You've never been apple picking?"

Nate let out a partly embarrassed laugh as he took his eyes off the road for a second to look at her and briefly shake his head. Boys that were raised on the Upper East Side didn't go apple picking as a happy family trips.

"Apple picking? If you mean to the super market to pick them out then yes, once, with my Nanny when I was like five"

He knew without even looking at her that he'd earned himself a smack. Which she'd granted to his arm and then accompanied with a kiss on his cheek everything about her made him smile, she wasn't anything like the rest of them.

"No you loser, I mean you've never actually picked apples off of the trees?"

She asked her voice a 'you poor deprived boy' type of shock as he shook his head no and put his right blinker on to pull into a parking lot. It was V's trip which meant he'd do anything to keep the non regretful smile on her face.

"My parents and I used to take Ruby and I every year. They'd get all the rotten apples though, something about how they were new art, I don't know. One of my first videos I made were on the life of flies which was literally me laying on my stomach filming the flies that flew around and ate off of the corroded apples in our kitchen."

After the car was parked in a spot Nate turned to look at her with a completely grossed out face. that's what made her so different from Blair and Serena, she wasn't afraid of being real. She had a strong sense of herself and willpower that was unlike any other female that had ever been in his life.

"How about you show me how this apple picking thing is done then?"

Nate leaned in and kissed her nose before getting out of the jeep and waiting for her at the back of it with his hand out.

_**Let's get crazy,  
Talk about our big plans  
Places that you're going  
Places that I haven't been  
Build my walls up  
Concrete castle  
Keep this kingdom free of hassle, yeah**_

"Is this the one you want?"

Nate called in back of him as he reached up on a higher limb that she couldn't reach for the shiny red Macintosh apple. With the apple now in his hand he turned around to face her smiling figure. The setting sun was illuminating her beauty even more as the rays picked up the dark amber colors in her hair. Her eyes weren't on him this time, rather they were more content on the next bite out of the rub shinned red apple she would take. He turned around just to look at her with an endless wonder and pleasure reflected in his own gaze. As she finally turned the apple and brought it closer to her mouth connecting with it and taking a chuck he moved in closer tossing the apple in his hand into the basket at her foot and bring her closer to him.

"Nate, what are you doing I have a mouth full of…"

Her mouth full had prevented her from getting her words out before he'd connected with her in a deep kiss that she hadn't expected. As he pulled away from her, the sweet taste of apple in his mouth now too. He reached his finger to her lips to brush away the lip gloss smear and apple juice that had dripped down her bottom lip.

"You're right"

Nodding his head in agreement she looked at him puzzled as she tilted her head and took another bite of the apple. This time she got to chew and swallow without having to share it.

"They are good apples, or maybe that was just a good kiss."

He caused her eyes to sparkle at his comment as they stood face to face. Biting another piece off the apple she took it from her teeth and held it out to him in her fingers. He didn't even say anything as he leaned in and took the piece of apple from her hand letting his teeth and lips lightly scrape against her fingers proving to her even further that their temporary break from reality was just what they both needed.

_**But I need some echo in the emptiness  
All I want, but you can't change this loneliness  
Look at what you've found, I'm falling down  
Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone  
Tell me that you're alone, tell me on the telephone  
Feel your heart it breaks within your chest now  
Try to get some rest now, sleeps not coming easy for a while, child  
**_


	4. As You Sleep

Author's note: I'm to lazy to write this. or add a song. but I need to post it :) hope you like it! leave me your thoughts!

The gentle motions of the ocean waves created an easy going gentle sound as they crashed up on the shore. The waves were the perfect backdrop melody to the closing few hours that were left on the Sunday. The October winds blew fiercely and rushed the ocean's call. Sun setting added the perfect coloring as she smoothed out the blanket over the sand then shivered into his Abercrombie and Fitch sweatshirt he'd told her to put on so she wouldn't catch a cold. Everything about their first full day together and all alone had been like magic. She'd already showed him things about being a normal person he'd never done before, it was hard to believe that someone had never been something so simple as apple picking.

Feeling his cell phone go off again for the ninth time in twenty minuets she took it out of the pocket and placed it down on the blanket just as he walked up to their spot. The beach was closed but it hadn't kept them from sneaking in. His hands were full, it wasn't their usual Chinese food, this time it was clam cakes, white clam chowder, and doughboys. The perfect New England summer dinner, even if it was the end of October they were on their own self chosen mini vacation it was to make up for all the time in summer that had slipped away because of his stupidity.

He knelt down beside her and pressed the warm styrofoam from the Dunkin Doughnuts white hot chocolate into the back of her cool neck as she again shivered. He then put the cups down securely into the ground and slid in back of her, pulling her back to him into his chest. He pressed his lips into the side of her neck as she tilted her head and closed her eyes she let herself go and relax into the moment. That was one thing with him she'd learned to do, completely let herself go and immerse herself into him. For a whole week she'd let him put what ever marks on her neck and body he wanted and she wouldn't have to hide them.

The moment was broken in an instant however when vibrating from his cell phone caused them both to jump and him to exert a loud sigh accompanied by a mild 'fuck'. Picking up the Verizon phone up from its spot on the blanket she held it to both of their views. With her own sigh she rolled her eyes and leaned her head onto his chest as he leaned his head down and kissed the top of her messy curls. His hands were wrapped around her tightly as she held the phone.

"Thirty-eight missed calls Mr. Archibald. You would think you were someone special. Fifteen text messages? Who keeps calling you anyways? Your girlfri… well I guess that wouldn't actually be right wouldn't it?

Vanessa commented and made Nate sigh as he abruptly stood up, phone in his hand. He didn't want to think about Catherine or any of the painful thoughts that Catherine brought and caused to Vanessa. He didn't like seeing her pain contort her features in hostility. Before he added his thoughts to her comment he reached out his hand to help her up, lacing his with hers as he did so. Lifting her hand up to his mouth he kissed the back of it before dragging her down to the shore line.

"I promised you that this was going to be time away from the rest of the world. Just you and I with no interruptions and no one telling us who we have to be didn't I? Well I plan on making that a promise that I keep."

Pulling her closer to him he captured her mouth with his wrapping his left arm around her waist as with his right hand he held up his phone to her view before throwing it into the ocean. Soon as the phone left his fingers and made a loud splash into the blue ocean he instantly felt a calm come over him. Just the thought of being able to be all alone with Vanessa without a single thought of anyone else around made everything just fade into serenity and peace. As he'd told her before, he could finally breath.

"Just you and I Vanessa, that's all I care about."

She hated herself for falling for him, but his dimples and perfect smile sucked her in. Vanessa couldn't help herself as she put her hands on both sides of his face and pulled him forward to her. Pulling back he held her in his arms and just looking her over, taking her all in.

When the light little bits of drizzle started to crash down from the skies it hadn't even fazed either one of them. It wasn't till the clouds darkened and opened and it began to pour down cold drops of rainwater that they finally seemed to notice that the precipitation was coming down on top of them. Nothing could have made them care.

"Come here"

Nate whispered as he slipped his hands under the sweatshirt Vanessa had on and pulled it over her head never mind her protests. He could be so Chuck like at times, but only in a Nate like way could she ever fall for it about him.

"Nate! What are you doing?"

Vanessa yelled at him as she stood in front of him in a white tee shirt, black bra underneath. She could see the game in his eyes as she shook her head at him and tried not to laugh as he pulled her back to him and kissed her, paying no mind to the rain that was echoing down on top of them.

"Hot last week, and wet this week, Miss Abrams, I think we are on quite a roll"

She threw her head back in a throaty laugh looking up as the rain crashed down on top of them. The next thing she knew he had lifted her up and she had no other choice but to wrap her legs around his waist and comply with his kisses.

"Nate, we still have dinner to clean up. I think it's pretty washed out now though."

Barely having anytime to get her words out of her mouth he'd captured her into another kiss as he carried her to the beach house right beside the beach. She should have known he'd had something up his sleeve by taking her to the beach. Threatening him that she wanted everything to be normal would have to wait till their second night of vacation, for now she'd let the ball be in his court as he indulged her.

Nothing still could have prepared her for everything Nate had set up. The stairs up to the master suit was lined with rose peddles. Then as they approached the room it was the glass enclosed porch that was set up to perfection. No candles to make it cheesy, no more flowers that she'd despise, just pillows in all different shapes, sizes, and colors strewn all around the glass enclosure. Blankets also cushioned the usually coarse and hard wooden ground.

Laying her down on top of the blankets she laid there as she watched him pull his shirt off over his head. His perfect abs made her smile; he was hers and all hers. Kneeling down he crawled up beside her and lay down as she put her head on his chest and laced their hands. Laying there innocently looking up at the starry night sky was how they both fell asleep.


	5. Globes and Maps

Author's note: woah I am SO SORRY that it's taken this long to get this out. Balancing stories is not my special point. Good news however! The next chapter is already pretty decently started and then chapter what ever is after next (I'm lost on numbers) is absolutely sweet! Ok I'm gonna shut up and stop teasing now! Enjoy ok? :D oh yea! the song is Globes and Maps by: SoCo

**Light breaks underneath a heavy door  
And I try to keep myself awake  
Fall all around us on our hotel floor  
And you think that you've made a mistake  
And there's a pain in my stomach from another sleepless binge  
And I struggled to get myself up again**

October had frosted the windows and chilled the glass making everything in the closed in glass porch cold and perfect, then again everything with her was perfect. Without opening his sapphire eyes he reached for the fluffy down quilt. That alone told him that se was no longer on the floor with him. His first hint had been the fact that her head was no longer station on his chest as it had been all night. She wasn't like Serena who rolled away to sleep on her own side afterward. Or Blair who laid on his shoulder but refused to be touched. Catherine had simply gotten up and handed him his clothes to leave right after. Vanessa stayed still and content all night long as long as she got to lay on top of him with her ear to his heart and his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders. He'd taken note of that on the first night, the night in the café. It was the night he knew for sure that she was different then the rest. Not only was she unique and different in her own ways but she also made him feel alive, like he could breath, he didn't have to live up to anyone else's expectations with her.

He had no hesitation pulling himself out of bed this time, he had something to look forward to seeing first thing in the morning, or rather someone. Even so much as the thought of her made his perfect smile come over his face as he stretched his arms above his head and yawned breathing in a sweet smell that was wafting up the stairs. She was up to something, and it wasn't something tacky like breakfast, Vanessa didn't do tacky and typical. That's what made her so unique and individual, it's what made him sure of where he was.

**I wanna hang onto something  
That won't break away or fall apart  
Like the pieces of my heart**

Soon as he got to the bottom of the landing he could see her but she couldn't see him. The television was on and he could hear her humming along. the thing was he hadn't expected what was on the TV to be on, The Little Mermaid didn't seem to be Vanessa's style on the outside. Seeing the side of her no one else saw, the childish sides made him fall even more. Vanessa had a special way to her, a way no one else could repeat. She'd taken a shower he could tell by the wet curls that hung part in her face as a majority were tied back in an elastic. Even seeing just the back of her head made him smile as he made every effort to be completely silent as he snuck closer to her. She had on his white shirt that he'd take off soon as they'd gotten in doors for the night. She looked absolutely beautiful as he snuck up behind her quietly and slipped his arms around her waist. Nate loved how she never even bothered to jump; she just instinctively put her head back, eyes closed for a good morning kiss.

She tasted of sweet caramel, a sugary treat first thing in the morning. She turned around into his kiss dropping the apple on a stick that had been in her hand down on the wax paper. Putting her hands on his face she pulled away from his kiss.

"Good morning"

Nate mumbled to her as he used his thumb to brush away the extra caramel from the side of her mouth. She moved her head to kiss his finger before he pulled her forward into another kiss. He couldn't resist himself, Nate had never felt more relaxed or comfortable.

"Morning"

She said brightly before turning back to the counter to what she'd been doing before, dipping the apples in caramel, rolling them around in Oreo chunks, then finally drizzling them with melted chocolate. He put his arms back around her waist and rested his chin on his shoulder as Vanessa carefully cut one of the apples into pieces. Picking up the still gooey mess she held it to him to take a bite of.

"I figured, we needed something more to get us in the Halloween spirit. Thought that candy covered apples might do the trick."

He chewed as he nodded his head in agreement before swallowing and pulling her back away from her work for another kiss. Her kisses were something he couldn't get enough of lately, everything about being with her.

"I'm gonna go get dressed, then I have to run out for a little bit."

The distrust was partly written all over her face as she raised a brow to him. He just shook his head at her laughing as he did so as he retreated back to the stairs to change.

**And globes and maps are all around me now  
I wanna feel you breathe me  
Globes and maps I see surround you here  
Why won't you believe me?  
Globes and maps they charter your way back home  
Do you wanna leave or somethin?**

His arms were full of Whole Foods brown bags as he struggled to open the door. Nate could hear the music blasting inside from the speakers in the entertainment system. It was a sure sign that she was comfortable. He could almost see her when he closed his eyes, laying on the couch with her eyes shut, fingers tapping to the rhythm. Not a worry or care in the world to break her from her spell. It was the second day and it was everything he'd wanted already. Just being able to breath, with her he could always breath without worry. Snapping out of the trance he'd been in he nearly dropped the bags in his arms as he finally managed to get the door to budge and open. Sure enough there she was, lying on the couch on her back with her eyes shut. He put the bags on the counter top before heading over to her. Leaning over her he pressed his lips to hers and without opening her eyes she returned it. That's how much she seemed to trust him, to actually trust him.

"Come on, I have a surprise for you."

Nate smirked as he reached for her hands and pulled her up from lying comfortably on the couch. She only administered little complaint as she he pulled her forward and kissed her forehead before putting a hand over her eyes.

"Now I never said that this wasn't a surprise"

Still not allowing her to look at anything he lead her to the kitchen as she held onto his arms for walking support. The fact that she trusted him enough not to lead her to walk into walls was something he also noticed.

"Nate, you know I don't like surprises."

Vanessa complained as he made her sit down in one of the wooden stools and finally moved his hands away from her eyes. Right there in front of her were two perfect orange pumpkins and everything to carve them with. Vanessa looked at him and laughed as he made his way around the back of the counter.

"Well, you said that you wanted it to feel like Halloween. I thought that maybe carving pumpkins would help that too. I don't think you really get anymore Halloween then that do you?"

Shrugging his shoulders he handed her one of the carving knives to begin which she took without hesitation as she began to cut a circle in the top of it. Blair would have freaked out at the thought of getting messy with the inside goop of the orange, but not Vanessa. She dug right into hers and took out the orange muck and seeds out and threw them into the trash container beside them. Nate just sat there watching her and taking it all in.

"Why are you sitting there watching me?"

She laughed out without even looking at him which made him smile more, she always knew it all without even looking. He was used to it by now, her sense of everything.

"Because I like watching you"

Looking up then she rolled her eyes at him before going back to what she'd been doing previous to him interrupting her. He shook his head as he too started on his own pumpkin.

**And dreams came around you in a hazy rain  
You opened your mouth wide to feel them fall  
And I write a letter, from a one-way train  
But I don't think you'll read it at all**

The next few hours of the afternoon were spent throwing pumpkin and pumpkin seeds at one another to the point they were both covered in the sticky orange mess. The pumpkins were done to childish perfection and they both had smiles on their faces as they added the candles and set them on the porch. With messy hands he reached for hers and pulled her to him again as she pressed her lips to his.

"I think we need…"

Vanessa began as he opened up the screen door in back of her and finished off her sentence.

"A shower"

Nodding their heads in agreement he locked the door behind them and put his hand on the small of her back as he guided her up the stairs. The rest of the Monday night was spent in one another's arms as they breathed in the lavender smell from the shampoo and watched Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, and Pretty In Pink in the bedroom, nether one of them had had a Monday night like it in forever. Feeding one another candy corn and sipping on a milkshake Nate had made himself. Laying contently on his chest as she had the night before she drifted off into a deep sleep as he slipped his hand under the back of her shirt and rubbed her back and followed soon after and the land of sleep.

**And globes and maps are all around me now  
I wanna feel you breathe me  
Globes and maps I see surround you here  
Why won't you believe me?  
Globes and maps they charter your way back home  
Do you wanna leave or somethin?**


	6. Konstantine

Author's Note: so I completely respect your opinions to not like Vanessa but please, if you don't like her then please don't open my stories. There isn't going to be anything you like in them at all. Please, it's spring break for me but I've had a very bad weekends… a very bad past week. Between visiting my mom at the hospital and re watching tonight tonight's GG once it's on over and over I should be able to update some more this week. YOB is coming, it just needs a little more work. So enjoy and leave me your thoughts.

-Well, this has been a very long time in coming, sorry it's taken quite as long as it has.

Xoxo

Manda

* * *

Clunk, Clunk, Clunk the beating on the cement sidewalk was what brought her out of her dreams and back into the real world. Not that she saw any of this as the real world in her opinion. Yawning and rubbing her eyes she knew he wasn't there and the clunking on the sidewalk persisted, she only had one guess to where it came from. The bright October sun shone in through the white curtains as she pulled herself out of the bed she'd shared with him all night and held the ruby colored sheet close around her body. It was chilly out and she could fee even more of a breeze of the partially open window as she pushed the curtain out of the way to peer out. Her eyes still a little sleep filled, she rubbed them as Nate came into her hazy view. Still in his pajama bottoms with a sweatshirt on he stood in front of the basket dribbling and shooting. Plain as day, she loved the sight, him looking as comfortable as ever without a care in the world. It was a sight she was used to immediately. Had her camera been in plain sight she would have grabbed it to film some.

As the ball made a swish through the hoop Vanessa finally tore her eyes away from him and an idea popped into her head. Walking away from the window she dropped the sheet and slipped into boy shorts, sweatpants, and a tank top with one of Nate's sweatshirts off of the floor. It wasn't all that hard to find clothes that littered the floor. Skimming around the chocolate painted room she found an elastic and threw her hair back before slipping on a pair of sneakers. Vanessa was fully determined to show him just how different from his usual choice of girls she could be. Prove to him that Vanessa Abrams could take whatever he put out.

She'd headed down the stairs with a bounce as she slid open the sliding door and slipped out as quietly as she could. Nate was still to in tune with the hoop to pay attention to any other sounds outside. He hadn't even noticed as she slid up in front of him and swiftly grabbed the ball out of his hands and dribbled to the other side of the driveway. A smirk lingered on her face as she stood there watching him, his perfect confused face from the other side of the driveway. Confused was an emotion that Nate had always done very well.

"Good morning sexy"

Nate murmured out as he advanced closer to her in attempt for both a good morning kiss and to get his ball back. As he got close enough to her to almost reach her lips he expected her to comply and come forward in a greeting. He wasn't so lucky as she smirked at him before sneaking the ball around his back and going straight forward to the net. He was in shock as she tossed the ball up into the air and made a clear shot into the hoop.

"Damn, looks like someone plans on giving me a run for my money"

He said coming after her now and reaching out for the ball as she moved to the right out of his way still dribbling. She was unlike anything he'd experienced, Blair hated basketball, it was a dirty came… in the literal dirty sense. God forbid she touch something that touched the ground. Serena had been a little better, but she'd still found better ways to spend her time other then outside in the cold or the heat. Shopping was more her speed.

"Shut up Archibald, show me you can play as well as you can talk it."

He went after her then, trying to get the ball cheating every once and a while by picking her up and spinning her around till she lost the ball from her grip. Their game went on for a solid hour, yelling and fighting as they threw the ball through the hoop over and over again. Fighting and cheating, kissing and threatening. Everything was comfortable, perfect, and right.

Tired and about ready to give up she threw the ball one last time before she was picked up and tackled onto the grass underneath him. She wasn't the only one that had had enough playing around. He was leaning on top of her, his body pinning her to the ground as he kissed her over and over. It wasn't long before he'd picked her up, her arms over his arm, her arms tightly tangled around his neck as they managed to get in the door without losing where their mouths were.

"Sleep well last night?"

As he placed her down on the couch in the living room he loomed over her burying his face into her neck. His hands underneath the sweatshirt he had on, she put her head back reveling in the moment of being alone with him some more.

"Besides the fact that you stole the quilt halfway through the night, yea, I'd say it was ok."

Teasing she watched him as he pulled back with a mock hurt face, he made her laugh as she leaned her head down and kissed his forehead.

"V, you sleep on top of me all night. How did I steal the blanket? Besides, do you really need a blanket?"

Lifting his head he met her lips for a simple kiss as he slipped his arm around her and twisted her over him so she was laying on top. With her lips inches from his she looked into his perfect blue eyes and playfully tussled his hair.

"Are you complaining?"

He shook his head best he could manage to as she got off of him suddenly and he looked at her with confusion clearly written across his face.

"Not at the least bit… where are you going?"

Getting up to follow her as she walked up the stairs back to the bedroom they'd started with. Watching her walk up the stairs he'd been tempted to pick her up and carry her the rest of the way up only to pin her down on the bed and listen to her bicker and yell at him.

"I'm going to get dressed so we can get out of here."

Vanessa called in back of her as she walked into the master bathroom and locked the door behind her. He should have known that was the only way they'd both get out of the house.

"I still remember coming here every summer with my grandparents, little did I know back then that it was so my mother and father could attempt to get along better. All I knew was that I got all their attention and they bought me things. Ok so yes, I was a very shallow child."

He laughed, dimples showing as they walked hand and hand down Atwells avenue. Atwells Ave, better known as Providence's Federal, historic in Rhode Island's history for the Italian Mafia among over things. It was colder on the elevated ground, cool enough for Vanessa to have Nate's USC sweatshirt on. His favorite sweatshirt he couldn't wear at home unless he wanted his mother to flip. Here with Vanessa he could be who he was and who he wanted to be. She was the only one that didn't judge.

"You're still shallow, I don't see that changing."

Her playful tone made him smile as he looked over at her taking a sip of her Jones green apple soda bottle doing her best not to smile as she rested the bottle at her bottom lip. Even making jokes on him he thought she was cute, it just made him squeeze his hand tighter.

"Thank what you want… want another bite?"

Taking another bite of the vanilla and white cup cake in his hand he held it out for her to also. She took a bite letting him smear the frosting on her nose. Scialo's bakery had been around for dozens of years, it just so happened they had the best cakes and pastries also. A place Nate could still remember his grandmother insisting they visit year after year. They came out of the few good memories he could remember of his grandfather, the days before his grandmother's death. Using the side of his hand that was laced with hers he wiped the frosting off of her nose.

"I still can't believe you picked the coconut cupcakes. Out of all the cupcakes in that place you pick the most disgusting ones. A million different flavors in there and you have to pick the gross one. I mean coconut? What were you thinking?"

Vanessa went on shaking her head as the bag from Nancy's Fancy's swung back and forth on her wrist with every short step they took.

"Well I'm sorry we don't all pick PB&J cupcakes, that combination with a cupcake."

He shuttered at the thought playfully before his perfect smirk touched his eyes while he looked at her.

"I'm sorry but that sounds pretty gross. If anyone needs to get their flavors checked I'm pretty sure it's you V. I mean, cherry vanilla and coffee ice cream mixed together with butterscotch, I'm just glad you let me have the cherry off the top. Speaking of, how can a person not like cherries? Are you sure there isn't something wrong with you?"

Rolling her eyes at him she took another sip of her soda doing her best not to laugh as she leaned her head against his shoulder. The ice cream place near the beach house had turned out not to be such a good idea when they'd fought over flavors and flavor trying bad enough to need showers to get the sticky messes off before they went out in public anywhere.

"I still can't get over how plain you pick things. I mean come on vanilla ice cream with nothing else, just that plain."

Stopping in front of Two 9 Five, a small bar and lounge, he tossed the rest of the cupcake into a trash bucket and slipped his arms around her hips pulling her close to him and kissing her full on the mouth just like their door stop moment only months ago. She wasn't in the least bit fazed by his sudden outburst, it wasn't like they were in gossip girl land, they could be together wherever they wanted without an audience looking over their shoulders.

"So, you have a tour of RISD tomorrow… ready for that?"

Rhode Island School of Design, one of RI's pride schools, home of The Talking Heads, a band that was inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame back in '02'. One of the nation's top fine arts schools, of course Nate had dragged her there to check it out, trying to open a door the rest of the way he'd cracked it open. Besides, if Nate could get it all his way he'd already had it all planned out, big back yard and all of it.

"Yea, actually, I'm kind of looking forward to it. You never know right? I might to decide that you're right, it could be a good thing. I'll give in to you this one time… only this one time do you win without a complaint from me."

Kissing her forehead again he kept his arm around her and led her into the small stone building with a smile on his face.


End file.
